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Want to get trashed? Too bad you didn't sign up for the 1999 seventh annual Trashmasters Golf Tournament, teeing off Aug 12 in Snowmass.
The brainchild of real estate agent Boone Schweitzer, the Trashmasters tourney has grown over the years to one of the most interesting golf games in the country. Stories on the game have appeared on CBS and NBC, and its been written up in Gull Digest, Golfweek, Travel & Leisure and LINKS. Next year, the match may even appear on CBS during the November silly season – if Schweitzer can tine up a sponsor like Hefty or Glad, someone who doesn't mind being associated with 'trash."
Here's how it works Players are
rewarded for bad shots if they go on to make par on the hole. Extra points are given for a Barkie, if your ball hits a tree bush or shrub; a Rockie, if your ball hits a rock at least as big as a baseball; a Jerry (to honor President Gerald Ford), if your ball hits humans, outhouses, Water coolers, course ranges etc; and the coveted Billie (suggested by former player Dan Quayle), if the player can make par after a "less than perfect lie."
This year's tournament sold out in
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five days - and the lineup includes Michael Douglas and Robert Wagner -along with lotsa locals.
"We have an interesting group of CEOs and Hollywood bigshots playing alongside construction workers and dirt dogs:' Schweitzer says. "This group is the salt of the earth," After two years of litigation, The Masters in Augusta has decided to leave the Trashmasters alone, even if Trashmasters give out a the Blue Jacket to the winner. And so it grows, with dozens of people checking out the tourney Web site daily (www trashmasters com).
"Trash is sweeping the nation, the world," Schweitzer says" People are talking trash everywhere."
RUNAWAY: I saw "Runaway Bride" this past weekend - unit it's I runaway bad.
I knew it would be hart to accept dentally challenged Julia Roberts as the manager (if a hardware store in a cutesy Maryland hamlet. (I mean, this town, right down to its ubiquitous barbershop quartet, makes Mayberry look like Watts). But Richard Gere as a journalist?!
Gere isn't near what we look like. Has
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Hollywood been in a newsroom lately? We're more like Al Gore than Richard Gere. The best-looking newspaper man in the country is Jimmy Breslin. Dave Barry has good hair for a newspaperman. Face it, Hollywood, reporters are shlubs. Our idea of color coordination is matching socks. I had to laugh at Gere driving his perfect convertible away from his $10 million Central Park penthouse in his Joseph Abboud ensembles. But trim in a J.C. Penney outfit in a Gremlin, now we're talking authenticity.
Gere gets fired for making a few factual errors in his column (thank God that's not true to life!) -and it happens that his ex-wife is his boss at USA Today. Not bloody likely.
Note to Touchstone Pictures: The next time you team the "Pretty Woman" up with a reporter, make sure he's the "Ugly Man" - a poorly dressed, socially inept, behind in his rent, down at the net, free- food scarfing, fact fudging, ill-shaven. slouch shouldered, whisky swilling. cigar eeking ink-stained wretch.
Perhaps more disturbing than the movie was the deplorable condition of the new United Artits theaters in Denver Pavilions. I mean, the lobby is
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disgustingly dirty. Your shoes stick to the grime-caked escalators. Garbage that was on the floor when I went into the theater was there when I came out two hours later. Get with it, UA. Clean up your act.
CITY SPIRIT: Dan Fogelberg in the Palm Saturday night - where he refused to allow a waiter with a touch of laryngitis to serve him. Longest lines at the SOS Taste of the Nation: Denver Buffalo Company, Sullivan, Morton's, Del Frisco's, P.F Chang's.. . . You read it here weeks ago, but it was officially announced Monday that the Kempe Center will benefit from the opening night gala at the Pepsi Center Sept. 30. The party will be chaired by Jim Thomas, Doug Jones and Mike Shaw, Tickets start at $500 each, which includes tix to the next night Celine Dion concert. The big ticket is $100,000 - which includes corporate sponsorship, 20 tix to the party, plus 100 tix to Celine and 30 passes to the backstage party. . . . Sez who: "have you noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going laster, than you is a moron
-Steven Wright
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